You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
