Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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