I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
