Having a random hookup so left but love u
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
