we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
