"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
