i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
