Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
