kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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