No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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