ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
