Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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