I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
