google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
