Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
