His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
