Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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