I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Let's get the cat blown out
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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