guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
