EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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