you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
