i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
