i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
