dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
