how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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