I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
