Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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