Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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