I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
