Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Randomize
