Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
