nut hugger
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
