You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
