your thong is hanging out like whoa
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
