Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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