I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize