Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
