remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
