i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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