dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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