Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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