"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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