I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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