I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
