I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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