my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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