i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
