Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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