are you still at the devil's house?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
