i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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