Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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