i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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