I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
