Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
