I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
so much tequila, so little girl.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
