dude i'm inner monologue high
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
only you would photoshop your dick
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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