thus making me awesome and them whores
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
