i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
